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Joke Battles

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Joke Battles

Postby Kidsam » Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:31 am

Let see whos got better jokes than the others. Post a joke and let see If you can be the undefeated champion. Let the battle begin.

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WinA (Fri Apr 21, 2017 4:12 am) and 2 more users
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Calvin » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:02 am

Conversation of a boy and a girl in whatsapp

Girl:hey handsome
Boy:ey Princess
Girl:how ar u doing today
Boy:ahm just fine thanks bae'b!
Boy:am watching a movie so we will talk its done
Girl:ok babe

The movie was done and boy went to whatsapp

Boy:its over...
Girl:ahaa I didnot love you....I was just using you lolll!
Boy:am talking about the movie..what ar u talking about
Girl:......!

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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Zwa » Thu Apr 13, 2017 7:22 am

Daughter said to her father , "Dad, can my boyfriend stay over tonight?"
Father asked, "Can he f**k."
Daughter said , "Like a rabbit

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emmy121 (Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:33 pm)
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby nhlaxza » Thu Apr 13, 2017 4:48 pm

U knw de one abt de dog who walked into a bar kwaaaaaaaaa
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Ken » Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:27 pm

JUST FOR FUN
=============
Why I Will Never Teach Pre-School Kids Again!
====================================
At the kindergarten where I work,there is a little girl named Vicky.
She is so cute and sweet.
Yesterday, just before knocking off, I found
her busy, trying to put on her shoes.
I approached her, and offered to help her.
It was such a torrid time.
The boots seemed to be smaller than her size.
It took me 5 minutes
to help her wear them.
When we were done,after making a steps away from her, she
called me and said "Teacher, you made me wear
banana".
When I looked at her shoes, to my
embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced her
shoes- the banana style.
Upon trying to take off the shoes again, it
took me 3 minutes.
After struggling so much I
eventually managed to remove them and tried
putting them on again, this time the correct
way.
However, it was more difficult than the
first time.
When I finished, she said: "Teacher, these
shoes are not mine!"
I really got angry, but since I work with little
kids, I had to be patient and control my anger.
I struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked
Vicky where her own shoes were and this is
what she said:
"These shoes belong to my sister, my mum is
the one who made me wear them in the
morning today".
This time I boiled in anger. But since I always
do my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I
helped her to put on the shoes again.
When
we were done, Vicky pulled another shocker,
yet again. "What about the socks, teacher?"
she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.
Politely and swiftly I asked her, "Where are the
socks Vicky?"
She innocently replied: "I shoved them in my
shoes, they are in front of my toes"
I Simply Resigned!

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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Khulanithedogg » Sat Apr 29, 2017 5:38 pm

A 10 yrs old boy and girl were playing....

Boy: haha look at my thing i pee with you dont have it hahaha..

Girl: lol i dont care my sister told me with this (vagina) i can get as many of those i want....

Boy: confused lol...

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Bathabile (Sat May 19, 2018 2:33 pm)
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby yosh » Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:33 pm

If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Ken » Thu May 04, 2017 12:45 am

I started fearing nyaope the day I saw my neighbour's son dancing to the sound of my generator. When I switched it off, he asked me 'who sings that song'?...... because I was afraid he would beat me I said "Yamaha Ft Petrol"

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Re: Joke Battles

Postby ARvion » Wed May 31, 2017 9:19 pm

Dad:who is president of South Africa?

Son:Robbert Mogabe...

(Dad slaps his son.)

Dad:its Jacob Zuma!..concentrate on your studies..

Son:who is mr.Phiri?

Dad:I don't know...

(Son slaps his dad)

Son:its mom's boyfriend!.Concentrate on your marriage

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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Diamond » Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:21 am

I nearly fainted
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby siphomia » Wed May 22, 2019 10:16 am

Arvion, Calvin and that one of pre-school. guys are the best
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby DaCoolKruger » Sat Jun 08, 2019 5:26 pm

No matter how hard uu shake ur dick after peeing but the last drop is for underwear
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Nick03 » Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:01 pm

man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's 3 am in the morning and it's bloomin' well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk
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Re: Joke Battles

Postby Nick03 » Mon Jun 17, 2019 6:29 pm

No matter what Isaac the husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man. While the two of
you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.
That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm'
They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the
Rabbi.
'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man
make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'
Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice. They go home and hire, thes same strapping
young man.
The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,
'See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!'_
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